Tomorrow I'm doing my first ever official half-marathon. I've been running for many years now in a very casual sense: two or three 5k runs per week, the occasional "long" 8k to 10k run, and no real plan around schedule, diet, or exercise. But since registering for this race a few months back, I've been following the Jeff Galloway run/walk half-marathon plan and it's been amazing. My endurance has gone up, and I'm now way more aware of how diet, sleep, and recovery effect both my runs and my general well-being. But imposter syndrome is a funny thing!

On paper, I've done everything I need to and I should be prepared. My Garmin Coach plan shows that the confidence in me achieving my goal time of 2:27:41 (i.e. 7 minutes per km) is extremely high. And yet some part inside of me still questions whether I'll even be able to finish. For an October morning, the temperature is going to be on the warmer side. Will that kill my endurance? There are going to be so many other "real" athletes there. Am I, a 42 year-old dude doing this for the first time, going to be completely out of place? If I'm using the run/walk method (i.e. alternating 3 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking), does that even count?

I guess imposter syndrome is just a specific example of anxiety in general. I see it and have experienced it in the world of IT many times, and have gotten pretty decent at coaching myself and others through it. Going for a run on my own during off hours is a wonderful, tranquil experience. But now I'm competing with others (although not really) and I'll have supportive family cheering me on at the finish line. There's a certain amount of performance anxiety around the whole thing -- which, for me, as an Enneagram type-3, checks out. Existing in this foreign world of athleticism, it's easy for me to forget that this is a familiar and rewarding experience that I've gone through many times over in my life.

Dispite those fears, at this point I wouldn't miss tomorrow for the world, if only to know how my half-marathon story ends (or rather, continues), even if failure is a possibility. What specifically am I afraid of? Getting gassed at 15k and walking the remaining 6k? If it comes to that, is it really such a big deal? Hell no! I'll have done my 21k! When I started running a few years ago, I wasn't able to complete a 1.5k run downhill to the lake without walking. At some point I became able to tackle a 5k, then 10k, then 15k, and eventually even 32k. These all felt like huge deals. Tomorrow (God willing!) will be another milestone to celebrate!